As a 5 year old girl I started to question the religion that was automatically assigned to be apart of my identity. A born Christian, I say that, because my ancestors were given a black book called the bible. A curse from the slave master, but kept my people going while being beaten and hung for over 3 centuries so naturally Christianity would be apart of my upbringing as well. I remember going to church in parts of my life, but not religiously. I went enough to enjoy the music, cry and feel sad, then see people dancing and shaking speaking in what they call “tongues” I asked my parents, mom and granddad the meaning of Jesus, what is the meaning of God, is Jesus God son or is Jesus God? There is certainly a huge difference in the two. At five years old I began to question the very beliefs people based their entire lives on. Throughout my life I remember calling on him, preying and asking for help. While I watched my mother struggle to take care of her five children, as I watched every man she gave her heart to and bared their seed, then abandoned her, as I watched her health become stricken at only age twenty eight, I watched her fight until her last breath to give us food, clothing, shelter, and most importantly love. I still struggle to this day believing that he was at all around while growing up on the east side of Detroit MI. I prayed literally, an innocent child prayed not for herself, but for her mother and her family to have a better life and still, nothing. To hear her weep in the middle of the night from the pain she was enduring from her kidneys failing during labor, was enough to make any child feel helpless. That was enough to cause me to question the belief that there is some being, spirit, or man sitting in a magical place outside the universe already having our lives written for us. Then why have a conscious, why have a choice as to how you will live your life?
We all have our on journeys to walk in life and we will not all follow the same belief system. Some of us will not feel the need to elect a specific belief system and be controlled by religion. I don’t need to believe in what I know exist within me. Why continue to search outside of yourself for what’s already embedded in your code? Your DNA is that of the divine creator of all realm’s of reality.You are made up of DNA and of thee infinite mind, both unique to each and every one of us. Life is tangible, you think it, feel it, breath it. The individualized code is like no other living human or species in the entire universe is remarkable in itself, some would call it a Miracle! Could it be that Thee are all Gods? Gods of our on universe (lives)?
I have thought about this and many other scenarios about the secret to life. The most asked questions, who am I and where did I come from? If you’ve ever looked through a telescope you can see stars, the sun, planets, space, darkness (matter). Space= not bounded by time. Infinite, no beginning or ending just a continuum. I see space as a physical form of my mind no limit to how much information, experiences, memories and ideas I can feed it and no limit to how far my thoughts can travel. That same analogy can be used to explain how we are all in the physical form of God. God to me is the infinite mind, then you become tangible(life) bringing it right back to the mind again 360 degrees(death).
Then I go back to analyzing this very topic all over again. Am I the only person questioning what has been fed to the masses? This post does not serve the purpose to be at all boastful about who I am or what I believe. Nor do I judge or look down on those that have found their way and purpose in life through religion. Rather I pose the questions that we all have asked ourselves; at some point in our lives we have questioned. Sometimes I feel like the five year old me trying to figure it all out.Trying to figure out how I got to my fathers nut sack, how did I swim faster than the millions of other little sperms to make it home, inside my mother, only to stay there for nine months and be Born, and here I am twenty eight years later.
The experiences that I’ve had in life has done one thing for sure, and that’s keeping my mind open to learn and grow from all that I have come to know. I’m not rejecting anything, instead taking it all in, expanding my mind and heart and respecting all that is life. I want to live free in who I am and who I aspire to be, religion only stagnates this goal. I do not want to live in a bubble of folk tales and lies. The Bible has blood on her hands of my ancestors and I will avenge them in every step that I take to find my truth. I will not fear my own destiny,because I choose to step outside of the norm of belief and ideology. I was raised to be a leader and to be fearless, religion will not cause me to be content with the ugliness of this world.I will keep searching and along my journey I have and will continue to add more jewels to this beautiful masterpiece I call MY Life.
I’m a person full of pain and optimism;
reaching for the stars and beyond