It’s Not About Sex

People hear the word intimacy and the first thought is sex, not for me so much. I long for a deeper level of intimacy that can only come from the opposite of lust and sexual satisfaction. I once watched a segment on TV about a guy in New York who is a professional cuddler named, Kan Seidel’s, he understands the benefit of getting close without sex. It sounds extremely weird to think you can feel a reward from cuddling with a complete stranger. It’s because its not about your desire to be with them sexually, its about the person on the receiving end of the interaction itself. The one that is seeking out the affection, feeling of being cared about, and the feeling you get from being touched by another human being. This is so important for us as humans to thrive in the world and feel compassion for one another

The feeling of a warm palmed hand caressing your lower back, the sound of someones soft breathing whistling  in you ear, the feeling of someones fingers messaging your scalp, or even the candor of a tight hug, are all experiences of intimacy, helping bring about a feeling of pleasure, joy, and acceptance. It’s important for Kan to be open and welcoming, allowing himself to be vulnerable enough to make the person on the receiving end feel comfortable. The openness between both people helps to build a level of trust, and the experience could possibly bring about a king relationships between him and his customers. This can be a level of therapy for some and maybe just a new experience for others. Feeling  this kind of intimacy in a professional setting can also be beneficial as it relates to fighting temptation and learning self control. As your body feels the pleasure of each gesture your cuddler makes it, sending signals to the brain thus causing your brain to produce, what some describe as Happy Chemicals, Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphin’s, the emotions can  strike about a persons urge to take it to the next level. Keeping the moment sacred, meaningful, and innocent is a gift. With closer acquaintances this experience can only be successful in the matter of self control.

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How does this guy, Kan offering an out of the box experience pertain to me? I seek out not only physical intimacy but also mental intimacy. Our thoughts, fears, insecurities, dreams, admiration, goals, experiences, beliefs, and motivations, are all so very dear to us. Longing to be understood in a world that can often times make you feel alone. Connecting and building is crucial in ones growth and development, the true and purest way is connecting through the mind. To allow yourself to open up and trust a person to not judge you, for someone to listen to your thoughts and deepest emotions is also level a of intimacy . I’ve found myself having intimate moments with a complete stranger. For some odd reason here I am, in a small cafe talking about life, listening to someone else’s interpretation, simply taking the time to share a story with a stranger is  nothing shy of intimacy. Taking something with you from the whole experiences is the point. I’m leaving you all with this, dig deeper past the surface to truly make long lasting connections and experience with those around you. Remember its not all about sex!

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