I don’t know how to handle my deepest emotions. I cant stand that I see through peoples bullshit, but I have a heart that allows it. I hate that I love harder than most and that I will bend over backward for the people I love. I show love to strangers, friends, family, and even those that have hurt me. I don’t understand why I am who I am.
This is why the journey to self discovery is so deep and real to me. Every time I start to love someone they show me in the most subtle ways that they will not last in my world. They don’t deserve to have me, but its too late I have already given myself, because I want to be loved, I want someone to believe in my dreams as I do theirs.
I’m tired of being used for my good energy, my good vibes, my positive reinforcement, my ability to not judge others for their flaws or mistakes, my understanding of ones issues, my natural caring and nurturing side, my want to help and make sure everyone and everything is alright…
Who’s there for me in the end who makes sure I’m ok?