Your Dead to Me

All these thoughts in my head I can’t believe I was misled to think I can trust you

After all the time we spent together

I thought it was love boo

Then you turned on me like when the sky turns from black to blue

Your strike hit like a brick

Left me dazed and amazed that you could lie straight to my face without leaving a trace of deceit

I have an angel one that you failed to see, I was guided to the truth about you

Your a disgusting piece of trash…how could you?

The feeling gets worse everyday I think about it

Making me want to gag and spit, I wish I could dig a ditch to throw you in

Sprinkle acid like fairy dust at the sight of you

Run you over a thousand times with a semi truck

Burn you with cigarette butts

Better yet hang you by the neck

Unfortunately your not dead yet, but Your Dead to Me!

Playing with Fire

You played with my love

You played with my heart

I hope that when you die you feel excruciating pain, and your nostrils fill with sticky farts.

You played with my love

You played with my heart

I hope that when you find the one you truly love, she ripped your heart apart.

Gun Smoke

It’s a new year but I’m hunted by the past.

Its 2018 but I can’t help thinking about how long the thoughts of you will last…

Get out of my head!!!

I meant it, I mean it… to me your dead.

I’m cold now and Your just lucky…

I hate you!! That’s what I said

If it was anybody else, your body would be filled with lead.

Gun smoke!

A Spell of Gray

you’re great in almost every way, yet there is nothing you can do to make me stay,  it’s like no matter how much we laugh and play in the end I get a spell of gray.

I wondered if it was me, or if we were ever meant to be, that lighting bolt that only we could see was all for nothing.

I looked within for answers to determine this factor, it’s the specific way you hurt me is why I must go when you hurt me you hurt my mind, my heart, my soul.

 

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I’ve been forced, you’ve left me with no other choice! I love myself more than you ever did or ever will and so I am forced to never love you. I hate that I have to let you go, but your like poison that taste good, you are venom that feels good, you are an atomic bomb on my heart causing the explosion of my never ending tears, grand reaper of  all hearts. From sun down to sun up I think of you and what we could have had, our unborn seed, me his mom and you her dad. I cannot fathom how you let me slip away when on those cold and rainy days I was there to wipe away your doubt. I’ve been forced not to love you, because your lies failed to see the truth in me, in us, in we.

Let it Flow

I spend most of my days fighting back the tears, feeling stuck like a dear in head lights. That familiar feeling of pain that eats at your every vain, like poison entering your soul, on a sentence to death row, because love only kills me. It never heals me although I wish it would, or if it even could, just be true. For every beat of my heart that is broken I can feel the tight knot in my throat fighting back my tears, Tears of frustration and feeling like a victim of manipulation. It saddens me even more knowing I was stupid enough to let go, a love so innocent and beautiful, like the white of snow. Now, my heart is like Frankenstein all ugly and put back together, when people think that I’m sorry will fix it. I’m sorry, save it, you’ve said it so much, I’m starting to hate it, I’m starting to hate you, and all that you put me through, and so I spend most of my days fighting back the tears. Tonight I will let them flow, down my cheek and on to my pillow…

The Girl With No Name: Short Story: Part 1

Image result for silhouette of black woman meditating

She sits alone in a dark place pondering, analyzing, remembering, trying to forget, a weird form of meditating if you will. As she sits, the room gets darker, time passes, and a cold chill of loneliness sweeps her heart. The dark isolation of nothing other than herself has forced her to look within for light. Her light lives deep within her soul, she fears the unknown, but knows that the only way to find herself would be to face her fears within every crevice of her being. The mirror has its everlasting gift to show the outside of ones existence, but only she can understand, realize, except, control, and express her true self. Eyes serve no purpose on the journey within…and she wonders will her journey ever end?

She is brave and fierce in her calling to serve a purpose in life. She feels an intuitive nag that confirms there is something more to her existence, she sees the inevitable  beauty of the sky and sees herself being just like the sky, free and vast. She longs for true freedom, like a  bird soaring through life, but only for her to feel as if she’s in a cage, confined in ugliness. She wonders on thinking is there even a such thing as happiness on earth? With all that is wrong with the world,  how can one be so selfish to want happiness for ourselves, but not for others? So many questions like a small child, and she remembers when she was a small child, questions that still have no true answer without it all being crumbled by theory. The dark place gets even darker as she dives deeper into her subconscious, taping into places where creativity thrives and Epiphany’s are found.

Shes in a cave of emotion, fear fills her heart and she wonders how she keeps ending up here. Here being a place of doubt and no confidence in her emotional state in life. She realizes that all of her down falls in life and love has been, because of her lack to trust herself and understand her true feelings. It’s like being in love with two people, constantly conflicted, not sure which way to go. She’s searching deep and tears start to weld, still in a state of deep thought, she tries to forget her first heart break and the many that would come after. She digs deeper into the ruins of her past, because somewhere along the way she lost something. Going into the details of her past is not a pleasant place to be, but she knows being completely honest with herself can result in a beacon of light to pierce its way through her broken heart. A broken heart that’s desperate for mending, she finds away to look beyond her fears, and so she begins her search…