A n c h o r

He’s an anchor to your happiness, should you have to cut off your own limb to leave him . So be it! The only way to achieve it is to leave it… leave the bullshit leave the lies… guurrl you trippin. He then turned you into a full blown spy

Checking fb and instagram Tryna keep up with him. Jail bond who had it?? You went all out because just for a moment you had no doubt that he was the one, then he turned on you like the moon did the sun.

He’s and anchor to your happiness, because u let him. Amputate your own limb to save your space, your true happiness you shouldn’t have to chase…

After a half ass man that only brings you down ever notice that when he’s around you frown and when he’s gone you smile? He’s an anchor to your happiness guurrl he’s got to go!

I only say this because I know, I was once you..a girl that didn’t know her own worth, that didn’t know when to let go.

Chasing the arms of a man that was just as damaged as me .. he’s an anchor to your happiness, let him go so you can be happy.

Lost In A Broken Heart

I’m in nothing but pain, I can feel it in my veins, it hurts so bad that I’m ashamed, I fell for a lame, a liar, a straight womanizer, I want to set his paints on fire, for leaving a burning hole in my heart.

When will I ever learn, that just because it glitters doesn’t make it gold, Now I’m cold, I miss me so much, I’m out of touch with who I once loved, Myself!

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1st Week of May

Its already the third day of May and just like the flower buds are coming out, so are truths in my everyday life. With a series of recent events it has reminded me of what really matters to me. I ask myself, why am I doing all that I’m doing, and is it all so I can reach my ultimate goal? It damn well better be, because I have reached a point of zero toleration for fake ass people. I’m a natural born leader and a rebel against injustice, whether it be for myself or a stranger. I have always possessed the need to fight for what is right. Period! Even if its just me taking time to write about it, someone will hear my voice, and my words hold wait. I really just want to let that Detroit, MI come out real quick, and tell these right wing Muthafuckas about their selves, stand up to THE MAN, since nobody else has the balls to. They say choose your battles wisely! Just remember I may not win the battle, but I will definitely when the war!

I took a chance standing up for myself when I knew I was being treated unfairly, and now I’m being retaliated against. Me along with a few other minorities so they call us. I will get the last laugh its 2017 people like me shouldn’t have to be taught a lesson, I shouldn’t have to know my place, and I shouldn’t have to know better than to stand up to a white lady in a position of power.

The Girl With No Name: Short Story: Part 1

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She sits alone in a dark place pondering, analyzing, remembering, trying to forget, a weird form of meditating if you will. As she sits, the room gets darker, time passes, and a cold chill of loneliness sweeps her heart. The dark isolation of nothing other than herself has forced her to look within for light. Her light lives deep within her soul, she fears the unknown, but knows that the only way to find herself would be to face her fears within every crevice of her being. The mirror has its everlasting gift to show the outside of ones existence, but only she can understand, realize, except, control, and express her true self. Eyes serve no purpose on the journey within…and she wonders will her journey ever end?

She is brave and fierce in her calling to serve a purpose in life. She feels an intuitive nag that confirms there is something more to her existence, she sees the inevitable  beauty of the sky and sees herself being just like the sky, free and vast. She longs for true freedom, like a  bird soaring through life, but only for her to feel as if she’s in a cage, confined in ugliness. She wonders on thinking is there even a such thing as happiness on earth? With all that is wrong with the world,  how can one be so selfish to want happiness for ourselves, but not for others? So many questions like a small child, and she remembers when she was a small child, questions that still have no true answer without it all being crumbled by theory. The dark place gets even darker as she dives deeper into her subconscious, taping into places where creativity thrives and Epiphany’s are found.

Shes in a cave of emotion, fear fills her heart and she wonders how she keeps ending up here. Here being a place of doubt and no confidence in her emotional state in life. She realizes that all of her down falls in life and love has been, because of her lack to trust herself and understand her true feelings. It’s like being in love with two people, constantly conflicted, not sure which way to go. She’s searching deep and tears start to weld, still in a state of deep thought, she tries to forget her first heart break and the many that would come after. She digs deeper into the ruins of her past, because somewhere along the way she lost something. Going into the details of her past is not a pleasant place to be, but she knows being completely honest with herself can result in a beacon of light to pierce its way through her broken heart. A broken heart that’s desperate for mending, she finds away to look beyond her fears, and so she begins her search…

 

Is There an End to The Madness?

3-184There has to be a line drawn between wanting to satisfy an insecurity and having an internal issue of not loving yourself. Sure, we all have things that we are physically unhappy about when it comes to our appearance. That insecurity should not make you hate yourself so much that you are willing to cut and clip until you barely look human. What has caused me to type at 40 wpm about the ongoing topic is a transgender woman, by the name of, Fulvia Pellegrino. This woman was born a boy and is now in the process of transforming himself into a woman. Fulvia has had at least 127 surgeries and is still willing to have more to satisfy his desire to be a woman and feel beautiful.

I’m not so much concerned with the fact that he wants to be a woman as much as I’m worried about whether, Bill Clinton enjoyed that blow job he received, while living in the White House, allegedly! I’m more concerned about the doctors that are performing the surgeries. Being a doctor (plastic surgeon), means handling peoples skin, body tissues, blood, bone structure, and a persons life most importantly, so there should always be a strong since of ethics held in place. Clearly this woman does not example what plastic surgery promotes. Fulvia, has had at least 127 surgeries and still isn’t satisfied with her appearance? That’s, because plastic surgery only mask low self-esteem issues and identity issues.  The doctors doing the surgeries only care about money, when at some point a doctor should be recommending her to another doctor, one that specializes in uplifting a person’s self esteem.

This is just not ok!!! She must be delusional to think she needs another lip filler, or bigger breast. Fulvia stated, ” I won’t stop here, I want to go ahead because it’s not perfect”. “If I reach perfection maybe I will stop.” This is insanity, shame on the plastic surgeons that continue to cut on her. With this type of mindset, its clear that she may never stop. What happens if she dies under the knife? Would one of the many doctors who cut on her be somewhat held responsible? Is there a level of standards and morals held in place, that says when enough is enough? Clearly there isn’t, because we live in a world of vanity and lust. I’m not saying she doesn’t have the right to pursue her want to be happy in her own skin, however that doesn’t mean others have to contribute to her own self destruction.

Whats even sadder is that so many people suffer from low self- esteem and now we have a medication for that, and it’s called Plastic Surgery. Is it a proven fact that plastic surgery helps those with low self-esteem? Or could it be making things worst and or masking the problem or contributing to more self hate? Which brings me to my conclusion, we have to be mindful of what we allow in the society that our children will later endure when were dead and gone. Do we really want them to be conditioned to think plastic surgery is the answer to low self-esteem? I’ts usually the prettiest girls who have low self- esteem. To me that says a lot, you have to love the core of yourself, which does not lay on the surface of who you are.

I’m not judging those that have decided to take the route of plastic surgery, maybe it was a medical reason, or you truly felt it would help you on your journey, without abusing the opportunity to be able to make physical changes to yourself. There is a fine line between wanting to make a change to simply improve who you already are inside, or truly having low self esteem in the core of your being, and thinking plastic surgery will heal your dissatisfaction with yourself. Plastic surgery is being abused, by people with lots of money, Kim Kardasian, Lil Kim, and MaMa June just to name a few. What we allow today will have a bigger impact tomorrow. Anything is possible and all is a free for all, before you know it we will be in a world of hybrid humans, 30% human and 70% robots. Ha Ha

In that Order…

The thing about me is I come in peace. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and I will open the opportunity for you to hurt me. why?  I choose to trust, and anytime you trust you risk being hurt and or let down. I cannot control what people do, but I will control myself. I’m not a liar nor hypocrite that has to put on a facade about who I am. I have no problem letting you know what I like and don’t like, so when a problem occurs or when a person starts to push negative energy my way I automatically put up my guard. I’m all good when I’m doing what you want me to do when I’m making shit easier in their life. It’s obvious that people only have there own best interest at heart and they don’t care about who they trample over or use to get there. Then these same type of people will pull the victim card as if the world owes them something. They think because your’re mom sister or girlfriend your obligated to take on their bull shit. NO!!! Not when my deepest and darkest battles to this day I fight alone. I will not pacify someone else struggles while I have to lace up my boot straps and fight through shit and break threw boulders that’s thrown my way. I offer support advise and literally at times, put myself and a jeopardizing situation for people and still am not appreciated. I’m a hopeless romantic that just wants to be loved.  I don’t see why its so hard when I’m coming in peace and genuine. True love isn’t hard, because it should come naturally. Anything that comes natural is easy, fun, and simply enjoy doing it. I will fight for as long as I can. but I’m also a stronger person than I was before, and I’m brave enough to accept people for who they are. I can accept you, but I will not tolerate and or deal with you in my world. I have made it this far and my biggest downfall has been my desire to love a MAN.

I want to desire to love myself more. As soon as I’m shown you don’t care I will guard my heart and my life. I’m dealing with so much internally and I’m ready to break through, I’m not letting people and there personal issues effect my life anymore. Beat it if your not hear to bring peace love and happiness into my life on a consistent bases than you serve no purpose and I don’t want you.

Anyways I’m at work and they don’t pay me to write in my personal blog…so until next time. Stay real and stay strong 🙂

Hey Yall

It’s been some time since I’ve exposed my deepest feelings and fears to a community of writers also known as complete strangers. Hey, sometimes life has its way of bringing you right back to where you started. However you now have the gift of seeing things from a whole new perspective, your given an opportunity to find appreciation in what you already have, and most importantly having complete belief and optimism about the future. This new year has had its punches, but it also has challenged me to look to a new way of life. They say our childhoods assist in molding who we will be as adults. My childhood, which I’m sure some of my readers can tell the struggles I have endured has surely molded me to be the strong woman I am today. However there are some downfalls to this strong demeanor which only the circumstances of life, has forced me to develop.

Aggression they call it! I say I will not stand for anything that is unethical and not righteous. I am not a saint however the basic rules of life, coexisting in a world of billions, and simply treating people the way you would like to be treated is my model.  I am not out to harm, steal, cheat, use, manipulate take advantage of, take for granted, or impose any negativity in anyone’s life. Hey, even if you’ve hurt me in the past, used, lied, manipulated, taken advantage of, I choose to fight my battles wisely. Now please do  not get this misunderstood, I will not stand for anyone doing such things. What comes off as aggression is in all actuality, me protecting myself from Bu**Sh**! People are so full of Bull and life has taught me how to stand up for myself. No more making excuses, I’m happy to be brave enough to truly except situation for what they are, accept people for who they are and who they will be. I cannot change how one chooses to treat me but I can choose my reaction. I know there is much power that lies within my vessel , and I am determined to Master Myself.

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