In that Order…

The thing about me is I come in peace. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and I will open the opportunity for you to hurt me. why?  I choose to trust, and anytime you trust you risk being hurt and or let down. I cannot control what people do, but I will control myself. I’m not a liar nor hypocrite that has to put on a facade about who I am. I have no problem letting you know what I like and don’t like, so when a problem occurs or when a person starts to push negative energy my way I automatically put up my guard. I’m all good when I’m doing what you want me to do when I’m making shit easier in their life. It’s obvious that people only have there own best interest at heart and they don’t care about who they trample over or use to get there. Then these same type of people will pull the victim card as if the world owes them something. They think because your’re mom sister or girlfriend your obligated to take on their bull shit. NO!!! Not when my deepest and darkest battles to this day I fight alone. I will not pacify someone else struggles while I have to lace up my boot straps and fight through shit and break threw boulders that’s thrown my way. I offer support advise and literally at times, put myself and a jeopardizing situation for people and still am not appreciated. I’m a hopeless romantic that just wants to be loved.  I don’t see why its so hard when I’m coming in peace and genuine. True love isn’t hard, because it should come naturally. Anything that comes natural is easy, fun, and simply enjoy doing it. I will fight for as long as I can. but I’m also a stronger person than I was before, and I’m brave enough to accept people for who they are. I can accept you, but I will not tolerate and or deal with you in my world. I have made it this far and my biggest downfall has been my desire to love a MAN.

I want to desire to love myself more. As soon as I’m shown you don’t care I will guard my heart and my life. I’m dealing with so much internally and I’m ready to break through, I’m not letting people and there personal issues effect my life anymore. Beat it if your not hear to bring peace love and happiness into my life on a consistent bases than you serve no purpose and I don’t want you.

Anyways I’m at work and they don’t pay me to write in my personal blog…so until next time. Stay real and stay strong 🙂

Asking all them Questions

Him: What’s wrong

Her thought: You honestly have to ask whats wrong

Her response: oh nothing

Him: I noticed your acting different

Her thought: You started treating me different

Her response: I just have a lot on my mind

Him: Do you love me

Her thought: If I didn’t why the fuck would I be here

Her response: I never stopped

Me&You

Flowing like a river, as strong as can be, the way you got me going, its like I’m lost at sea

only to find that true love lies beneath the deep ocean, my cum is an explosion, sending

signals to your heart, bonding us, mentally, so that we  never grow apart.

Apart from our differences, we be sitting reminiscing, about the beginning of our fate, how

every action we take, lead us to become mates.

Two headed dragons breathing fire and water, dominating

earth, we will go far, when that road ends, we will live among the stars.

Surrounded by darkness, but have no fear, when it all comes crashing, I will be near,

By near, I’m hear, to hold you dear, never to judge you, only to love you, just us two,

Me&You.

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Confessions

I don’t know how to handle my deepest emotions. I cant stand that I see through peoples bullshit, but I have a heart that allows it. I hate that I love harder than most and that I will bend over backward for the people I love. I show love to strangers, friends, family, and even those that have hurt me. I don’t understand why I am who I am.

This is  why the journey to self discovery is so deep and real to me. Every time I start to love someone they show me in the most subtle ways that they will not last in my world. They don’t deserve to have me, but its too late I have already given myself, because I want to be loved, I want someone to believe in my dreams as I do theirs.

I’m tired of being used for my good energy, my good vibes, my positive reinforcement, my ability to not judge others for their flaws or mistakes, my understanding of ones issues, my natural caring and nurturing side, my want to help and make sure everyone and everything is alright…

Who’s there for me in the end who makes sure I’m ok?

F.L.Y

You cannot have me, you had your fun and now I’m done, you do not deserve me.

You didn’t earn me, you never took the time to learn me, you do not deserve me.

I’m stronger now, stronger than you will ever be, I love even harder now, not for them, not for you, but for me.

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