Balance in Bullshit

It’s almost been a year since your life changed, our lives have changed forever

I’m as equally angry as I am grateful

I have been broken, yet I’ve evolved into a masterpiece

I have learned from the one that I teach

Helping me become a better me

Life is never black and white despite how simple things could be, could’ve been

I am grateful for the truth that I will forever suffer with…knowing

I find peace in my suffering

I will prevail and we will conquer ZZ

We will fight for our happiness and our honor

I’m not alone and that brings me comfort

Appreciate the opportunity to make it all right

Find balance in the bullshit “yeah that’s right”

Your Dead to Me

All these thoughts in my head I can’t believe I was misled to think I can trust you

After all the time we spent together

I thought it was love boo

Then you turned on me like when the sky turns from black to blue

Your strike hit like a brick

Left me dazed and amazed that you could lie straight to my face without leaving a trace of deceit

I have an angel one that you failed to see, I was guided to the truth about you

Your a disgusting piece of trash…how could you?

The feeling gets worse everyday I think about it

Making me want to gag and spit, I wish I could dig a ditch to throw you in

Sprinkle acid like fairy dust at the sight of you

Run you over a thousand times with a semi truck

Burn you with cigarette butts

Better yet hang you by the neck

Unfortunately your not dead yet, but Your Dead to Me!

A Spell of Gray

you’re great in almost every way, yet there is nothing you can do to make me stay,  it’s like no matter how much we laugh and play in the end I get a spell of gray.

I wondered if it was me, or if we were ever meant to be, that lightning bolt that only we could see was all for nothing.

I looked within for answers to determine this factor, it’s the specific way you hurt me is why I must go when you hurt me you hurt my mind, my heart, my soul.

 

Magic Carpet

My happiness was once a magic carpet, it took me for a ride everyday, I was alone, and that was ok, then I met you and you swept my magic carpet away. You could have took me with you, when it was just us two it was magical and you road my carpet until it became dingy and worn on all sides. We went everywhere together, but you were just along for the ride, you never meant to stay and now my magic carpet runs dry.

Missing You

Missing someone feels like your reaching for something you wanted all your life but your arms are just too short to grasp it, or your heart is too pure for any one person to endure. Maybe missing you is the only thing that gives me life to push forward, only to fall infinitely down a dark spiraling hole. Missing you, is like losing a pinkie toe from a falling piano, severing it instantly *there is no ice nearby to save the toe* Missing you is like being in a two person canoe, without the paddles and without you… Missing you is like being invisible in a stadium full of people. It’s like believing you are beautiful, yet treated as if your a disgusting piece of rotten fruit *something you 3pt jump shot into the nearest garbage pail*  Missing you, feels like I’m being chased by Jeffrey Dahmers ghost *except he eats souls and not people* Missing you, is like having the worst hangover of your life and having to force yourself to vomit just to get relief from the burning sensation that sits at the pit of your stomach.  Missing you, hurts so bad it feels like the first time you ever got your heart broken, and you can feel it in every fiber of your alive yet lifeless body. I miss you so much that I’m starting to hate words like Ms, Miss, Missing, and You.


*Will time heal this annoying feeling of missing someone you hate?

Lost In A Broken Heart

I’m in nothing but pain, I can feel it in my veins, it hurts so bad that I’m ashamed, I fell for a lame, a liar, a straight womanizer, I want to set his paints on fire, for leaving a burning hole in my heart.

When will I ever learn, that just because it glitters doesn’t make it gold, Now I’m cold, I miss me so much, I’m out of touch with who I once loved, Myself!

arms-broken-burned-girl-heart-Favim.com-426496

Reflection: Shadow

It lingers in the darkness of something that was once tangible. Darkness like Batman’s cave, running fast like a runaway slave, out of fear, that no one will be there, to save you from whats near. I’ts scary being trapped in your own non existence, beware no one will miss it, remember I sat on the opposing side of all your lies. Its dark inside the truth, and the only one that has to face it, is you!


lost3-e1444215436624

6733

I’ve been forced, you’ve left me with no other choice! I love myself more than you ever did or ever will and so I am forced to never love you. I hate that I have to let you go, but your like poison that taste good, you are venom that feels good, you are an atomic bomb on my heart causing the explosion of my never ending tears, grand reaper of  all hearts. From sun down to sun up I think of you and what we could have had, our unborn seed, me his mom and you her dad. I cannot fathom how you let me slip away when on those cold and rainy days I was there to wipe away your doubt. I’ve been forced not to love you, because your lies failed to see the truth in me, in us, in we.