Your Dead to Me

All these thoughts in my head I can’t believe I was misled to think I can trust you

After all the time we spent together

I thought it was love boo

Then you turned on me like when the sky turns from black to blue

Your strike hit like a brick

Left me dazed and amazed that you could lie straight to my face without leaving a trace of deceit

I have an angel one that you failed to see, I was guided to the truth about you

Your a disgusting piece of trash…how could you?

The feeling gets worse everyday I think about it

Making me want to gag and spit, I wish I could dig a ditch to throw you in

Sprinkle acid like fairy dust at the sight of you

Run you over a thousand times with a semi truck

Burn you with cigarette butts

Better yet hang you by the neck

Unfortunately your not dead yet, but Your Dead to Me!

A n c h o r

He’s an anchor to your happiness, should you have to cut off your own limb to leave him . So be it! The only way to achieve it is to leave it… leave the bullshit leave the lies… guurrl you trippin. He then turned you into a full blown spy

Checking fb and instagram Tryna keep up with him. Jail bond who had it?? You went all out because just for a moment you had no doubt that he was the one, then he turned on you like the moon did the sun.

He’s and anchor to your happiness, because u let him. Amputate your own limb to save your space, your true happiness you shouldn’t have to chase…

After a half ass man that only brings you down ever notice that when he’s around you frown and when he’s gone you smile? He’s an anchor to your happiness guurrl he’s got to go!

I only say this because I know, I was once you..a girl that didn’t know her own worth, that didn’t know when to let go.

Chasing the arms of a man that was just as damaged as me .. he’s an anchor to your happiness, let him go so you can be happy.

Love Yourself

You belittle how I feel because you’re not big enough to man up. I’m tired of being on an emotional rollercoaster, that crashes into a dumb. The shit from the dumb slams on to a window looking gross, lopsided and disproportioned, I’m there to clean it up.You want all the glory and want me to do all the work, while you refuse to be the antidote to the poisonous pain you’ve caused me and countless other souls that were captured by the light on the outside. What hurts most is that you never forced me to love you, it was worse you manipulated and made me feel like I was supposed to. I was wrong in what I thought was special…I thought only love could bring it out of you. I see that you’re too sick to want to get well, you’ve given up! Now, I’m left only to love myself.

A Spell of Gray

you’re great in almost every way, yet there is nothing you can do to make me stay,  it’s like no matter how much we laugh and play in the end I get a spell of gray.

I wondered if it was me, or if we were ever meant to be, that lightning bolt that only we could see was all for nothing.

I looked within for answers to determine this factor, it’s the specific way you hurt me is why I must go when you hurt me you hurt my mind, my heart, my soul.

 

Magic Carpet

My happiness was once a magic carpet, it took me for a ride everyday, I was alone, and that was ok, then I met you and you swept my magic carpet away. You could have took me with you, when it was just us two it was magical and you road my carpet until it became dingy and worn on all sides. We went everywhere together, but you were just along for the ride, you never meant to stay and now my magic carpet runs dry.

Lost In A Broken Heart

I’m in nothing but pain, I can feel it in my veins, it hurts so bad that I’m ashamed, I fell for a lame, a liar, a straight womanizer, I want to set his paints on fire, for leaving a burning hole in my heart.

When will I ever learn, that just because it glitters doesn’t make it gold, Now I’m cold, I miss me so much, I’m out of touch with who I once loved, Myself!

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Reflection: Shadow

It lingers in the darkness of something that was once tangible. Darkness like Batman’s cave, running fast like a runaway slave, out of fear, that no one will be there, to save you from whats near. I’ts scary being trapped in your own non existence, beware no one will miss it, remember I sat on the opposing side of all your lies. Its dark inside the truth, and the only one that has to face it, is you!


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Love is Like Building a House!

Nobody ever listens to you, when you are crying out. They pretend to listen, but as soon as you turn to walk away they forget that you are suffering, they forget that you asked for help, without directly asking for help. I remember my mothers words as a young girl, “don’t let people take your kindness for weakness”. Was this a warning, that she could foresee, that I would be a doormat for people to trample over? Did she make that same mistake in her short lived life?

I’m sending a warning to myself for the future. lol I cant advise others on how to live or what to do when I have yet to master my full potential. I share my thoughts, opinions, and even ramble a little. At least I’m honest and unafraid to speak my mind. I’m honest enough to say that love weakens me, because I want it so bad. Whenever it seems or feels familiar I run at it with full speed. Everybody knows what happens when you speed, you lose sight of things. Your going so fast that you don’t see the details or the warning signs that tell you your going the wrong way. Your moving so fast that you may even pass by your actual destination, finding yourself back tracking, starting over, and trying to find your way again.

Is it fear that explains why I allow people to hurt me? Am I afraid that I will never find true love? It seems far fetched, unrealistic, and somewhat like a fantasy, but not impossible. So I have hope! I don’t ask for a lot, but trust, honesty, communication, and thoughtfulness. Is this too much to ask? Yeah maybe if a person isn’t in a relationship for love.  Love isn’t hard, people make it hard with their carelessness with having someone else’s heart in their hands. Love is a universal language that all can understand and relate to. I’m not saying I have all the answers, because clearly I don’t. What I do know is love feels good and sometimes it feels bad, but the foundation should always stay the same. Love is like building a house. You start off slow and steady, aligning each brick neatly, layering concrete to make sure your foundation holds together. As you build, your house grows, and your able to see clearly threw the windows. You continue to build, soon to reach the top of your home, where you will layer your roof, to protect your home from stormy days.

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This metaphor is a little shaky, but not as shaky as your relationship will be if you don’t take the necessary time needed to build a solid foundation. My advise for whoever reading this, let time slow down when you find love. Take all the time you need to build, have fun during this phase, make a few mistakes to test the durability of your relationship. Also allow yourself to keep pushing through the sweat and tears so you can see clearly through the windows of your mates soul. To me its about having a mutual understanding, an unspoken language, and really being in tuned with your partner. Love is a selfless act, one that requires much sacrifice, for you two to benefit together. Build your house of love with precision, this way your love (house) doesn’t easily grumbled whenever life (storms) happens.