Missing someone feels like your reaching for something you wanted all your life but your arms are just too short to grasp it, or your heart is too pure for any one person to endure. Maybe missing you is the only thing that gives me life to push forward, only to fall infinitely down a dark spiraling hole. Missing you, is like losing a pinkie toe from a falling piano, severing it instantly *there is no ice nearby to save the toe* Missing you is like being in a two person canoe, without the paddles and without you… Missing you is like being invisible in a stadium full of people. It’s like believing you are beautiful, yet treated as if your a disgusting piece of rotten fruit *something you 3pt jump shot into the nearest garbage pail* Missing you, feels like I’m being chased by Jeffrey Dahmers ghost *except he eats souls and not people* Missing you, is like having the worst hangover of your life and having to force yourself to vomit just to get relief from the burning sensation that sits at the pit of your stomach. Missing you, hurts so bad it feels like the first time you ever got your heart broken, and you can feel it in every fiber of your alive yet lifeless body. I miss you so much that I’m starting to hate words like Ms, Miss, Missing, and You.
*Will time heal this annoying feeling of missing someone you hate?
It lingers in the darkness of something that was once tangible. Darkness like Batman’s cave, running fast like a runaway slave, out of fear, that no one will be there, to save you from whats near. I’ts scary being trapped in your own non existence, beware no one will miss it, remember I sat on the opposing side of all your lies. Its dark inside the truth, and the only one that has to face it, is you!
I’ve been forced, you’ve left me with no other choice! I love myself more than you ever did or ever will and so I am forced to never love you. I hate that I have to let you go, but your like poison that taste good, you are venom that feels good, you are an atomic bomb on my heart causing the explosion of my never ending tears, grand reaper of all hearts. From sun down to sun up I think of you and what we could have had, our unborn seed, me his mom and you her dad. I cannot fathom how you let me slip away when on those cold and rainy days I was there to wipe away your doubt. I’ve been forced not to love you, because your lies failed to see the truth in me, in us, in we.
I spend most of my days fighting back the tears, feeling stuck like a dear in head lights. That familiar feeling of pain that eats at your every vain, like poison entering your soul, on a sentence to death row, because love only kills me. It never heals me although I wish it would, or if it even could, just be true. For every beat of my heart that is broken I can feel the tight knot in my throat fighting back my tears, Tears of frustration and feeling like a victim of manipulation. It saddens me even more knowing I was stupid enough to let go, a love so innocent and beautiful, like the white of snow. Now, my heart is like Frankenstein all ugly and put back together, when people think that I’m sorry will fix it. I’m sorry, save it, you’ve said it so much, I’m starting to hate it, I’m starting to hate you, and all that you put me through, and so I spend most of my days fighting back the tears. Tonight I will let them flow, down my cheek and on to my pillow…
The guilt that I bare will last an eternity♥ I pray to the universe that one day you will come back to me♥ I ask my mind, to ask my heart, to forgive me♥
I’m alone in my suffering I’m alone in my pain, it’s a sad day when u realize their all the same.